In the 19th-century, infant portraits were often captured with a person holding the child still throughout the long exposure time. This photography became known as “hidden mother” since the person assisting the subject, usually the mother, was made hidden by drapery and fabric. The mother faded into the background. All focus was on the child.
Evan and I were first introduced to this historical technique when we had tintypes of our family taken. At once when Evan Googled “hidden mother photographs,” he wanted Eva and me to reenact this haunting and kinda creepy portrait style. It’s safe to say that Evan was quite pleased with the way it turned out. I dug it also.
I couldn’t help but reflect more on the “hidden mother.” I thought about my postpartum experience, and the many feelings I abruptly encountered recovering throughout the fourth trimester. There were times, and sometimes still, where I felt hidden and isolated, saturated with all of the intense feelings that spring from the hormones and sleep deprivation. Of course, people loved and cared for me the very best they could, but at times, I felt overlooked in one of the rawest moments of my life…
As ever, I’m grateful for the journey and challenging road. While it wasn’t easy, and it took a lot of tools and support, I found my solid ground. Today, I walk on a strong bedrock. My feet firmly planted, carrying the most incredible and precious miracle in my arms. The ultimate gift. I am full of gratitude.
Photo credit: Em White Photography